Great News!

I'm getting married! I think people should have the right to marry anything, including pieces of electronics and television shows. The Colony is now my fiancé, I love this show. I would consider myself a fan of horror, a fan of film in general as I tend to really like just about everything. My favorite genre in film, print whatever has always been the stuff with post apocalyptic settings. Human beings retaining that base animal instinct of survival has always been scary but also very appealing to me. Sometimes I think the zombie apocalypse is right around the corner and though not zombies by traditional standards I dont think anything is too far out of the realm of real life possibilities. Reanimation studies and hardcore neurogenesis labs are being run all over the world both publicly and privately funded, I bet the shit they got going on is horrifying. If any of that were to get out of control well then you end up with just about every plot from any piece of zombie fiction ever.

sorry about that, I guess, no not really...

Self indulgent, gross... im a piece of shit, I dont care anymore. One thing I have learned is that if life is not about indulging yourself as much as you possibly can before you get shit on or die then what the fuck is it about. You might have a few special people in a lifetime that you are actually truthful with. People you are deeply honest with through and through and they return every bit of that truth and thats what makes that relationship so solid. The rest are to be shit on lied to and used up and no matter who you worship, no matter what kind of person you might be it just cant be helped. Yes its a negative, emo, shit way of looking at things but no matter whats wrong with me it doesnt change whats wrong with the world. I know "good" people exist I just dont know very many of them.

Getting Smaller

mis⋅an⋅thrope  /ˈmɪsənˌθroʊp, ˈmɪz-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [mis-uhn-throhp, miz-] –noun a hater of humankind.

Also, mis⋅an⋅thro⋅pist  /mɪsˈænθrəpɪst, mɪz‑/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [mis-an-thruh-pist, miz‑]

Origin:
1555–65; n. use of Gk mīsánthrōpos hating humankind, misanthropic. See mis- 2 , anthropo-

mis·an·thrope (mĭs'ən-thrōp', mĭz'-)
n. One who hates or mistrusts humankind.

[French, from Greek mīsanthrōpos, hating mankind : mīso-, miso- + anthrōpos, man.]

mis·an·thro·pist (mĭs-ān'thrə-pĭst, mĭz-)
n. Variant of misanthrope.

You know what? Fuck you...

fuck you for abondoning me
fuck you for lying to me about shit that doesnt even matter
fuck you for thinking my life revolves around yours
fuck you for using me
fuck you for deciding your gonna stop reading here, coward
fuck you for always taking me for granted
fuck you for choosing her
fuck you for being six hundred dollars
fuck you for manipulating every fucking person you have any contact with
fuck you for not being an art fag when it matters most
fuck you for never challenging me
fuck you for being a gossip monger with your loved ones
fuck you for being phony
fuck you for calling 20 times a day
fuck you for always taking her side no matter how wrong she is
fuck you for bringing the mentality of a 10 year old to everything in your life
fuck you for giving up on me
fuck you for telling me everything I ever gave you was wel-fare shit (diaf you bitch)
fuck you for being just like every other state daycare baby mama stereotype
fuck you for liking the Soprano's
fuck you for having a weakness for phony goth bitches that play wow
fuck you for always showing up early and always leaving late
fuck you for expecting me to do more then you when you ask for my help
fuck you for trying to deny your gambling problem, everyone knows how bad it is
fuck you for not helping me clean up dad's life after he was gone
fuck you for the same when I lose my mom
fuck you for not understanding that were all animals
fuck you for never knowing who I was or really caring about who I could be
fuck you for making me a drug addict
fuck you for claiming I have a problem and using it to hurt me instead of helping me
fuck you for being a cunt
fuck you for sucking at video games
fuck you for not understanding what antisocial means
fuck you for thinking your clever
fuck you for turning everyone against me
fuck you for being married
fuck you for adding a 3 wolf moon t-shirt review rendering the original not funny
fuck you for not getting the concept of anxiety
fuck you for turning everything into a race issue (your the problem)
fuck you for dragging it on long after it was over
fuck you for ruining my family
fuck you for never calling me
fuck you for spreading videos of inebriated family members around
fuck you for being so cynical and ruining modern film
fuck you for making me feel bad about myself
fuck you for getting up to go potty and getting shitty about me being awake
fuck you for taking things too far
fuck you for giving me no other choice but to hate you
fuck you for collecting all the ammo
fuck you for calling me out on not calling you out while Im calling you out
fuck you for referring to things from two years ago as in the past
fuck you for then bringing shit up that happened 4-10 years ago
fuck you for wanting to spend an inappropriate amount of time with me
fuck you for crying like a retard the entire time you argue
fuck you for being such a transparent phony manipulator
fuck you for not being nearly as good at it as your mother
fuck you for making me put up with that crippled grumpy fuck while I helped you
fuck you for getting caught
fuck you for making me so angry
fuck you for not knowing anything about me but believing everything you hear
fuck you for being way too easy to manipulate
fuck you for always giving me the shit part of anything I help you with
fuck you for not getting the joke
fuck you for meeting a rich girl and forgetting about us
fuck you for freaking out about something that didnt need to be a big deal
fuck you for letting that destory our relationship
fuck you for being such a dick just take my money and spend it
fuck you for never getting to know me
fuck you for rarely offering
fuck you for spitting on everyones food
fuck you for trying to sit where I always sit and then getting awkard about it
fuck you for letting your dog fuck my coat
fuck you for trying to be the victim every time
fuck you for telling everyone I was gay in eigth grade
fuck you for then making me hide it for the next 8-10 years because I was embarrassed
fuck you for flicking cigarettes at me
fuck you for ripping me off
fuck you for not having any shame
fuck you for criticizing my choices while avoiding any and all responsibility
fuck you for always being the first with a negative, catty, shitty comment
fuck you for blaming everyone else around you
fuck you for threatening me
fuck you for not realizing that mom and I didnt start any of this shit with you people
fuck you for doing construction someplace I need to be
fuck you for being outside
fuck you for never once considering the amount of pressure I am under
fuck you for turning into a crackhead
fuck you for acting like you do everything around here
fuck you for perving on their 18 year old daughter and then hating them till they die
fuck you for thinking your so much smarter then everyone else
fuck you for dying in my front yard
fuck you for vandalizing and stealing lawn ornaments from old people
fuck you for then calling me out for being a bad person
fuck you for using a lie for the reason we never had a relationship
fuck you for all your fucking lies and excuses
fuck you for not calling me for 2 weeks after your first child was born
fuck you for being 16 and allowing your dick of a mother to mow her own lawn
fuck you for being so incredibly lame while trying to be so cool
fuck you for asking to see your seventeen year old nephews cock piercing
fuck you for not acting like a grown women
fuck you for being completely dead to me, someday you will all be gone
fuck you for not even being worth a memory
fuck you for being so fucking white trashy, you Springer show mongolide
fuck you for being so stupid that if your reading this you have to look up mongoloid
fuck you for having to also look up cunt, a contemptible person... the shoe fits bitch
fuck you for telling my mother to shut her fucking mouth in her own fucking home
fuck you for being so small you would use a baby to hurt people and get your way
fuck you for denying everything you know your lying about
fuck you for contradicting yourself often
fuck you for not playing what I want to hear
fuck you for some of the fucked up porn I found on your computer...wow
fuck you for stalking me
fuck you for not leaving after being asked to leave 3 times
fuck you for laying me off
fuck you for starting all of this shit and blaming everyone else
fuck you for not working
fuck you for making me count all the shit in a truckstop
fuck you for ignoring me
fuck you for leaving me here alone
fuck you for the fake enthusiasm
fuck you for making me question everything about myself
fuck you for slowly fading away from me
fuck you for marrying such a bag of dicks
fuck you for making me be there
fuck you for your biker costume with the like three foot bandana that shit made me laugh
fuck you for not being able to sleep
fuck you for your stupid little barking dogs and being a retard
fuck you for having a gross boyfriend
fuck you for rarely understanding me
fuck you for making me make worthless trips that waste time and money
fuck you for not being interested
fuck you for beliveing that he didnt say "she's shit"
fuck you for thinking we dont know the boys have said worse about her
fuck you for ruining Christmas
fuck you for being successful
fuck you for claiming I slept all day when I worked with you, fucking liar
fuck you for never helping me do shit but expecting me to jump when you need something
fuck you for stealing my confidence
fuck you for being way more offensive then me and getting away with it
fuck you for being so rock-fucking stupid, fucking wolfeses' dude?
fuck you for being that stupid and lying and thinking your getting away with it
fuck you for expecting way too much for way too little
fuck you for always being in the way
fuck you for being such a racist, hateful, homophobic dick sore
fuck you for inviting your high school buddies and girlfriends to watch my dad die
fuck you for most likely molesting those retarded boys
fuck you for killing those people and not even getting the money
fuck you for being in a group of nine while food shopping
fuck you for stopping
fuck you for making my computer not work
fuck you for posting hipster coversations you have with your friends on your blog
fuck you for thinking that if you say your not pretentious it works
fuck you for trying to be a celebrity
fuck you for wishing she was first
fuck you for constantly bringing up your nephew that not one of us wants to hear about
fuck you for always being there for me
fuck you for making me hate something I loved
fuck you for not updating for days and days
fuck you for asking why is he so mad at me while you keep telling all your lies
fuck you for changing personalities depending on who your talking to at the time
fuck you for being straight
fuck you for having shit on your page that my shit chokes on
fuck you for always trying to sell me something
fuck you for learning everything I could teach you then thinking you were the truth
fuck you for all your whiny drama bullshit
fuck you for not attacking me so I could have tossed you out of my house proper
fuck you for saying the same shit over and over again
fuck you for completly stopping before you turn
fuck you for using your cell phone to ignore me while Im speaking directly to you
fuck you for returning my check
fuck you for being a freak
fuck you for destorying her remaining years
fuck you for treating your wife and child that way, her name is not women
fuck you for making me forget that Im a really decent, nice, caring person
fuck you for scoffing at that since you have no idea who the fuck I am at all
fuck you for comparing me to that pile of shit that dropped out of your asshole
fuck you for being so fucking annoying and not realizing it
fuck you for not coming out
fuck you for always knowing what to say
fuck you for being so lame about being puked on, years later comedy gold
fuck you for being completly sterile when you told us my dad had 6 months
fuck you for telling me my grandma's pot pie tasted like shit, you talked funny
fuck you for not getting back to me after I reached out from a very dark place
fuck you for sqeezing my face and being such an asshole about lost library books
fuck you for being a sleezy cheese ass conwomen
fuck you for being so fucking cool
fuck you for having no idea the amount of shit I do around here
fuck you for thinking you helped me so much when you didnt really do shit
fuck you for helping with 1 out of about 20 or so loads when I moved
fuck you for not helping me put 3 more coats of paint through the entire house
fuck you for being a needy little bitch that cries constantly
fuck you for running over that cat
fuck you for not having anything interesting to talk about
fuck you for already planning the mean shit your going to say to me when mom dies
fuck you for abusing me
fuck you for taking advantage of us
fuck you for not respecting our home, our privacy or really anything
fuck you for being a clique of immature, dick greedy, pigs...your gross
fuck you for being the only person in 34 fucking years that didnt get everyone a gift
fuck you for being a bag about calling Hank after all the shit you done smoked
fuck you for being a psychopathic kwik way employee
fuck you for treating your son like that
fuck you for acting like I always owe you something
fuck you for being a piece of shit because you work at taco bell
fuck you for sitting in your car with the bass up just to be a retarded bitch
fuck you for being a family of stereotypes biker,jock,cunt and baby mama
fuck you for stating that your son would "UhgNever hang out with me"
fuck you for having a lame ass not funny in the least sissy bitch for a son
fuck you for playing the race card the entire time I have known you
fuck you for making me make a way too long list of shit that doesnt really matter anymore

The art of life

I would totally spend 500 bones on something like this...

Growing up...

Video Games from MUSCLEBEAVER on Vimeo.

Apparently this is for the intro of a German documentary. I hope its about growing up in the video game age, thats the nail this clip hit with me. This video pretty much is the evolution of how I matured with games, down to starting with pong and ending with WoW. More about the clip at Kotaku.

Freaks and Geeks

Freaks and Geeks was one of the things that sold netflix to me. Watching it now kind of sucks since it ended too soon but it helped launch alot of young talent. Everyone was on this show Shia LaBeouf, Ben Foster and Alexander Gould (Shane on Weeds, see clip below). Foster giving probably my all time favorite performance of his career so far as Eli the retarded kid. I dont know anything about Foster he keeps himself out of the gossip but its shocking how long I have been watching this guy and I dont get sick of him. Only bright spot in that 30 Days of Night mess and his new shit Pandorum looks cool. The show probably would have failed after about 3 seasons so its good it ended with people wanting more looking back I would rather Head of the Class do that then what we were left with in the end of that disaster so Im happy we didnt have to endure something like that but 1 more season wouldnt have hurt anybody.

I dont think until seeing this picture that I actually really considered the cultivation process and all the work that goes into bringing pot from the fields to the world's table.

And the reviews are in!!!

So tweets and message boards net-wide are hating on Brüno. Many people reporting walking out at about the 20 minute mark. I can only assume this means that they show hard dick or gaysex somewhere in that first 20 minutes. Brüno was always my favorite part of the tv show, blowing it up for the big screen means pushing the limits of that character as far as they possibly could and after the standard Borat set thats pretty dam far. I have never watched Borat with anyone that didnt get all uncomfortable during any of the male peepee parts and when they wrestle someone almost always started a conversation that had nothing to do with anything i.e. "honey did you pick up the kids today?" "how bout' those Raiders!".

Another one...

One more to add to the viral favorites stack...Took me forever to find this because I couldnt remember what it was called and for some reason my loony bun is fine benny lava didnt pop right into my mind.

LOL

Does her dad (or whoever it was that obviously pushed or tripped her) only have one leg or just an incredibly wide stance?

Mister Lonely

So it was just some odd coincidence that I got this movie in the mail the day after Michael Jackson's death. I added it to my que awhile back and totally forgot about it. I just got around to watching it tonight because with mj everywhere on tv it just seemed a bit overbearing to watch a movie with someone impersonating him throughout. Im happy I finally watched it and didnt send it back unwatched (a dirty ocd netflix habit I need to get out of) because this shit changed me.

I saw Gummo when I was about 24 and it actually helped in making me the introverted prick I am today. As it was a first impression kind of evening with a large group of people, artsy, college, part-time barista types, little bit of buzz about this really underground indie movie Gummo that I had a copy of (I just ordered it off Amazon so I didnt think it was all that underground but these kids were caffeinated) and they all came over to watch it. They left mostly horrified. One girl was crying, boyfriends were pissed it was just an awful night scoring me the moniker of John and Anne-Marie's creepy basement dwelling roommate. However awful they thought it was I absolutely loved it, and when the lights came up I was all like Holy shit! you guys was that not amazing!.! only to be met with people trying to get the fuck away from me and the cat comatose grandma killing movie as soon as they could. They all loved Kids for its gritty raw look at teen sex but I guess a gritty raw look at white trash was just more then they could handle.

Harmony Korine has moved me again this evening. Of course the timing doesnt help because I am so dam sappy so everything involving mj was poignant but it was the stuff that didnt involve mj that really worked here. About 15 minutes in just as I started to really get sucked into Diego Luna's dreamy soft performance as someone who wants to be someone else things seem to go random but I am so happy I stuck with this because Herzog and the nuns is where Harmony has flat stopped fucking around. The movie is tight technically shot with that blink and you will miss the beautiful little details kind of thing which I think lends such a sense of realism its like Im not watching this on a screen shot by a camera but experiencing it with my own eyes live. I think thats what just freaked people out about Gummo, getting that close to those awful dirty gross people was too much. But here I feel spiritually lifted after spending time with the cast of Mister Lonely and I dont get lifted often. And of course the sound is like all of Korine's films dead on with original music by Jason Spaceman and The Sun City Girls (2 separate entities).

Im curious how I will feel about this movie when I see it years from now when mj is just some joke and is pretty much forgotten. I mean some of Luna's dialogue was so very sad and very meaningful in light of mj's death that I know a month ago it would not have hit me as deeply as it did this evening. Everything just a bit more surreal then it would have been given a death free mj. Dancing on a stage with mostly dead celebrities to Cheek to Cheek (heaven, im in heaven) which just makes my mind race with possibilities. Im sure in mj's heaven he is hanging out with people like Charlie Chaplin, Shirley Temple and Little Red Riding Hood though not a dead celebrity this is mj's heaven so he can do whatever he wants. I wonder if mj saw this movie and what he thought of it?

Lately I have been watching alot of French horror, as the French seem to have taken over the job of pushing the envelope that the Japanese have been pushing for awhile now. Titles like Martyrs, Inside and anything by Gaspar Noe (is his stuff considered horror or just totally revolting?) have really given me a new perspective on what gore means to horror and vice versa. But what have the Dutch done for me lately? I first read this synopsis a few days ago on QE:

Internationally respected Siamese twin surgeon Dr. Josef Heiter has a demented vision for mankind’s future existence. He wants to remove human beings’ kneecaps so they have to exist on all fours and then surgically graft them mouth-to-anus to form a centipede chain. When two stranded female Americans arrive at his luxury home-cum-hospital looking for help, his long-gestating plan swiftly moves into chilling action with a shocking force. Kidnapping a third Japanese male tourist he begins the tissue matches, teeth removal and buttock moulding to create his triplet creature.

Well that sounds interesting... today some pictures were released and wow. It all sounds way too Cronenberg for my taste but at the same time looks like something that would make me squirm (not that Cronenberg doesnt Im just too stupid to get most of his stuff). Will have to keep an eye on this. Few pics below, the rest of the pics and the whole story can be found on QE.

Saw this clip here. Ouch, Looks amazing and insanely brutal.

Smile, Its Thursday!

So I first set off to find the trailer for The Pirate Movie and oddly enough the trailer has been removed due to copyright but someone has uploaded the entire movie in 8 minute chunks. Thats a little much considering its The Pirate Movie, I dont actually want to watch the whole thing just the trailer. Anyway that led me here:



I like this song. I remember liking this song when I was little but dont ever remember actually ever seeing The Pirates of Penzance. I actually thought Major Modern General was in The Sound of Music which made me think of this:



If I were there I would think I was supposed to dance with these people and look like a complete ass flailing around by them. Thats why I have decided that if one of these surprise dance things happens by me live then I will just run away. This clip always puts a smile on my face though. At about 1:40 when those kids all run down the steps thats just pretty awesome.



WTF Bonnie Tyler, WTF?

Ok so first if everyone where you live is talking about Trojans new line of sex toys its not ok. I mean I realize that salon chat is just lady for locker room talk but this is wrong on so many different levels. Related and also very wrong, in the senior demo junk catalogues (they sell things like Chia Pets, pill boxes and catheter systems, all in one easy place!) that sex toys and dildos have come out of the closet. No longer will a totally dick shaped purple piece of vibrating plastic have to hide behind the guise of The Stress Soother or Personal Masseuse. Now they have names like SuperStar and Magic Journey and come with all sorts of weird little knobbys, studs and bells and whistles. And as the older lady in this commercial clearly shows older ladies are hip to this sex toy shit. Maybe she worked for a company that had lay offs and since she lost her job she doesnt know what to do so she just brings a laptop and shit from home and sits in her favorite salon all day thinking shes at work. Browsing the Trojan website and planting Trojan Vibrating Touch propaganda all over the salon.